I am profoundly hard of hearing. So much so, that I require two behind-the-ear hearing aids. Being almost completely deaf without my hearing aids has been a struggle I have navigated since I began losing my hearing at the age of twenty-one. I have dealt with ignorance, rudeness, and, at times, blatant disgust from others. Don’t get me started on the woman who verbally attacked me in a Trader Joe’s because I had ear infections and could not hear her.

At times, I feel discouraged. At times, I feel like an outsider. At times, I just want to give up on humanity and curl up in bed with my dogs. At times, I do all of the above. Today is not one of those times.

Today, I am grateful for my hearing aids. I am grateful for the people who go out of their way to help me feel like I am a part of this world, regardless of my hearing disability. I am grateful for a husband who translates almost all conversations for me. I am grateful for children who encourage me and tell me they love the closed captions on our television, even if they let them know who wins Survivor before it is announced. I am grateful for friends who go out of their way to make sure I understand conversations, even if they have to repeat themselves five times. I am grateful for an audiologist who makes me feel like I am one of the most important patients he has, stops at nothing to get me new gadgets, and writes amazing accommodations for my workplace. I am grateful to the HR department at my job who have figured out how to make my doctor’s accommodations work for me. There are so many reasons I am thankful, and these are just a few.

Being hearing disabled is hard. Trying to navigate my hearing disability during a pandemic, which requires masks and facial coverings, is hard. People on the outside can be hard. And yet, they can be amazing, too. They can be understanding, kind, tolerant, selfless, and genuine peacemakers. They can make me feel like I am known, loved, and seen, which is everything to a disabled person.

So, the truth about being disabled is it can suck. At times, it is overwhelming and soul-crushing; though, I see it as a blessing, too. I am a better person because of my disability. I am more tolerant of others. I am kinder than I once was. I am more giving, and I often pay closer attention to the people who may feel like outcasts. I guess it’s a choice, really. Do you want to be the reason someone has a difficult day and feels left out? Or… do you want to be inclusive, kind, and the reason someone smiles despite the hardships they face?

In the end, when I’m faced with the decision to be an arrogant turd or a kind human being, I choose kindness. Kindness is free, but its effects are as lasting as any thoughtful gift given in love. In love… Yeah, do everything in love, y’all, and no disability will ever feel too disabling.