Ever since quarantine has kept my family indoors, I have tried to install some sense of normalcy with family movie nights. A few nights ago, we watched the documentary Bethany Hamilton: Unstoppable, and it was awe inspiring.

Too often, I look at the successes of people with envy, but I don’t see the struggles and obstacles these people faced to get there. I don’t see the rejection, the self-doubt, the countless fails, or the moments of defeat. Instead, I see the finished product, wrapped all together with the perfect glittery bow, but that’s not how success works.

Success comes in waves.

I’ve heard this saying countless times before, but after watching this documentary, I realize how daunting those waves actually are. The waters are deep and dark. The waves are ruthless and unforgiving. One moment, you’re on top of the world, coasting toward your goals. The next moment, the waves have crashed around you, and you don’t know top from bottom. You are crushed on every side, and the rocks are dangerously close. It. Is. Terrifying.

Somehow, you make it out of the swirling water, and you gasp for breath. People tell you to swim for safety, to get out of the path of destruction, and you hear the wisdom in their warnings. You begin to swim away, but then you glance back over your shoulder. Everything you have ever dreamed of sits on top of that colossal wave. You have a choice to make: be safe and swim away, or dare to dream and swim toward uncertainty—such a tough choice.

As I watched Bethany Hamilton swim back toward that savage wave, an awakening began in my soul. I am no surfer, but I am a dreamer. Like Bethany, I have had wave after wave of disappointment, and I have yet to catch my break. Instead, I paddle out, get crushed, find my strength again, and paddle out a little further. It is exhausting.

Then, I watch as the sun glitters on the horizon. The ocean swells, and I see my perfect wave crest in the distance. I don’t think twice. Despite the threat of getting wrecked, despite the fear of failing, I paddle toward that perfect wave, and I hope this time it will be different. I hope, in faith, that I’ll catch my break, at last. I hope that in this place where destiny meets determination, I will finally become unstoppable.